Hi! My Name is...
This is not the aforementioned long post with pictures but this story is also long, and so funny (to me and Jon anyway) that I had to post it while it was still fresh. Plus, I am having trouble uploading pictures to Jon's computer. Here we go…
My awesome boss awesomely hired Jon to paint the outside of her house. He's been painting since Tuesday and everything is going pretty well. Yesterday I had the day off thanks to Veteran’s Day, so he asked if I would help him scrape old paint off for awhile. Scraping paint is (no joke) my absolute favorite thing in the whole world to do, so I happily agreed. At this point I should mention that my boss and her husband left town for the weekend.
So yesterday morning Jon goes to paint with the plan that I would show up later with lunch. I get to the house about 1:00, and start scraping paint. About half an hour later some strange man shows up, proceeds to walk around to the side of the house where there is a gate to get into the backyard. Jon and I kinda looked at each other and established we had no idea who this man was. Neither my boss nor her husband said anything about this guy dropping by. Meanwhile, this 60ish year old man is trying to give himself a heart attack by attempting to climb over their gate. After deciding he can't haul his rather large frame over the gate he goes to the carport (where Jon and I are working) and sticks his head in my boss's door and yells "Hello?!", at which point Jon volunteers that the Bosses are not home. So the guy goes back to the side gate and tries to do whatever it was he was doing before to no avail. Finally, he goes back over to Jon and says that he needs to drop some disks off for Mr. Boss and pick some other ones up.
Jon tells the man that he can leave the disks with Jon and he will make sure Mr. Boss gets them. The man is OK with that but then tells Jon he has to get the disks Mr. Boss promised him. Jon tells him that since Jon doesn't know where the disks are, this guy will have to come back later. The guy whines that he knows where the disks are and gets furious that Jon won't let him in the house! Fortunately, the second time the man tried to impale himself by jumping over the gate, Jon quickly locked the Boss's door and put the key in his pocket, so the crazy man couldn't let himself in. After a little more back and forth, it finally became clear to this bozo that Jon was not going to let a complete stranger into his employer's house, so he uttered a bad word at Jon and left. I'm not sure if he left his set of disks or not.
So, Jon and I go back to work, both thinking how weird that was. After another half an hour, another car pulls up, and another weird older man gets out. This time he walks up to me and introduces himself as someone from the “census” and tells me that in August they sent something to me blah, blah, blah. Before he could get any further, both Jon and I told him that we didn't live here; we're just painting the house.
The “census” man says that's OK, and wants to know if I know how many people live here. Now, before I go any further, in my defense, I babysat my boss's cat and house in August and they really did get some mail from the census regarding a survey. Which apparently they forgot to fill out or something, or they intentionally didn't fill out and I might have done something really, really bad as you are about to find out. So, I naively tell him 2. He asks if it is a man and a woman. I tell him yes. Then, he asks what their names are. At this point I was feeling kind of wary about answering him, as was Jon since he questioned the “census” man why he was working on a holiday. “Census” man said something like you go out when you can. Anyway, I tell him my boss and her husband’s names because I suck. Then he wants to know my name.
Obviously, I’m much more free about giving out other people’s information because to this question I answer… “My name? is.. Mi.r.anda?” He writes it down and asks my last name. “Smith.” I tell him much more assuredly. He totally bought it, because we live next to a very large Mormon community. Then I gave him my main office phone number, which will be so great if he ever calls because when he asks for a Miranda Smith, I will be totally safe, and the fact that there is no Miranda Smith will therefore make my boss’s information null and void. Until he then asks for my boss, because I even more stupidly told him I worked for her. He wanted to know if Jon and I painted houses for a living, then he asked what my boss did, to which I finally did not give an answer to. He asked a few more questions to no avail and finally left. Jon immediately started cracking up and informed me that absolutely no one had stopped by the 3 other days he worked there. We decided to take that as a sign, so we cleaned up and left.
I really, really hope that guy did work for the census. I also really, really wish that I had told him my last name was Wrights.
My awesome boss awesomely hired Jon to paint the outside of her house. He's been painting since Tuesday and everything is going pretty well. Yesterday I had the day off thanks to Veteran’s Day, so he asked if I would help him scrape old paint off for awhile. Scraping paint is (no joke) my absolute favorite thing in the whole world to do, so I happily agreed. At this point I should mention that my boss and her husband left town for the weekend.
So yesterday morning Jon goes to paint with the plan that I would show up later with lunch. I get to the house about 1:00, and start scraping paint. About half an hour later some strange man shows up, proceeds to walk around to the side of the house where there is a gate to get into the backyard. Jon and I kinda looked at each other and established we had no idea who this man was. Neither my boss nor her husband said anything about this guy dropping by. Meanwhile, this 60ish year old man is trying to give himself a heart attack by attempting to climb over their gate. After deciding he can't haul his rather large frame over the gate he goes to the carport (where Jon and I are working) and sticks his head in my boss's door and yells "Hello?!", at which point Jon volunteers that the Bosses are not home. So the guy goes back to the side gate and tries to do whatever it was he was doing before to no avail. Finally, he goes back over to Jon and says that he needs to drop some disks off for Mr. Boss and pick some other ones up.
Jon tells the man that he can leave the disks with Jon and he will make sure Mr. Boss gets them. The man is OK with that but then tells Jon he has to get the disks Mr. Boss promised him. Jon tells him that since Jon doesn't know where the disks are, this guy will have to come back later. The guy whines that he knows where the disks are and gets furious that Jon won't let him in the house! Fortunately, the second time the man tried to impale himself by jumping over the gate, Jon quickly locked the Boss's door and put the key in his pocket, so the crazy man couldn't let himself in. After a little more back and forth, it finally became clear to this bozo that Jon was not going to let a complete stranger into his employer's house, so he uttered a bad word at Jon and left. I'm not sure if he left his set of disks or not.
So, Jon and I go back to work, both thinking how weird that was. After another half an hour, another car pulls up, and another weird older man gets out. This time he walks up to me and introduces himself as someone from the “census” and tells me that in August they sent something to me blah, blah, blah. Before he could get any further, both Jon and I told him that we didn't live here; we're just painting the house.
The “census” man says that's OK, and wants to know if I know how many people live here. Now, before I go any further, in my defense, I babysat my boss's cat and house in August and they really did get some mail from the census regarding a survey. Which apparently they forgot to fill out or something, or they intentionally didn't fill out and I might have done something really, really bad as you are about to find out. So, I naively tell him 2. He asks if it is a man and a woman. I tell him yes. Then, he asks what their names are. At this point I was feeling kind of wary about answering him, as was Jon since he questioned the “census” man why he was working on a holiday. “Census” man said something like you go out when you can. Anyway, I tell him my boss and her husband’s names because I suck. Then he wants to know my name.
Obviously, I’m much more free about giving out other people’s information because to this question I answer… “My name? is.. Mi.r.anda?” He writes it down and asks my last name. “Smith.” I tell him much more assuredly. He totally bought it, because we live next to a very large Mormon community. Then I gave him my main office phone number, which will be so great if he ever calls because when he asks for a Miranda Smith, I will be totally safe, and the fact that there is no Miranda Smith will therefore make my boss’s information null and void. Until he then asks for my boss, because I even more stupidly told him I worked for her. He wanted to know if Jon and I painted houses for a living, then he asked what my boss did, to which I finally did not give an answer to. He asked a few more questions to no avail and finally left. Jon immediately started cracking up and informed me that absolutely no one had stopped by the 3 other days he worked there. We decided to take that as a sign, so we cleaned up and left.
I really, really hope that guy did work for the census. I also really, really wish that I had told him my last name was Wrights.
posted by bunnycat! @ 4:36 PM
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