"I'm a Little Worried About Southwest..."

First off, I truly apologize for the length of time I have been gone (again). However, to reward your patience, this should be the last post that could have pictures, but doesn't because... I got an awesome PINK digital camera for Christmas!!! It's like my parents read my mind! I have no idea where they got such a great idea for a gift for me! The reason this story does not have any pictures is because it took place before Christmas. So without further ado...

Last month I went home for a week at Christmas. As you know travel during the holidays can be a bit harrowing to say the least. I was prepared for this, and because my work was also becoming quite a bit harrowing and I was super excited to see my family, I thought it would be OK. What I was not prepared for was the hilarity that was about to ensue.

My friend and cat-sitter for the week, Kirt, dropped me off at the airport about an hour before my flight was supposed to take off. I had checked the flight time before I left (as I have been tricked into waiting needlessly at the airport for hours before, which really sucks because then I read all the trashy magazines I bought before I even get to board) and it said my flight was on time. I managed to get through the 300 people check-in line in record time (kudos Sky Harbor Southwest ground crew!) and even went through security pretty quickly. It was here that I should have realized the day was too good to be true. When you leave security there are 3 ways you can go to get to different concourses. They are all clearly labeled. Clearly I cannot read because I was supposed to go to gate C and ended up 5 miles away in concourse D. I totally played it off though, like I was just stretching my legs before yet another long flight in my oh so busy transcontinental life. I made my way back to C and found my gate.

Our flight was supposed to leave at 6:30. At 6:15 everything still said "On Time". The plane was at the gate and the previous passengers were getting off! "This is so great! Who would have thought holiday travel could go so smoothly!?" I and the other 150 people waiting to board the plane thought to ourselves as we lined up to get on. At 6:30 everything still said "On Time", however since none of the lines had moved and no one had actually gotten on the plane, the crowd was becoming a bit skeptical. At about 6:40 the crowd was becoming a bit more vocally skeptical, but still remaining hopeful because the signs still said "On Time". Clearly this was not the case. A Southwest official made an announcement but everyone was talking so no one heard what the problem was, which of course made everyone go from restless to irate. About 10 minutes later another announcement was made. This time the crowd fell silent. Apparently a light that was supposed to come on did not come on, or a light that wasn't supposed to come on did and we couldn't leave until said light did its thing. They had been working on it for the last half hour (which explains why they were too busy to change the "On Time" sign to "Delayed Until a Light Gets Fixed") and it just wasn't working, so we were going to have to change gates.

Fortunately we just had to cross the hall. This is my second favorite part of the entire journey because all of the people who pushed ahead and made a huge deal about being the first people to get on the plane, were now at the back of the line! Finally everyone got on, and the lights, engine, wings, seats, etc did what they were supposed to, and we were off! About half an hour into the flight an announcement was made that the bathrooms, nay lavatories (why is it a lavatory on an airplane? Is that French and therefore fancy for flying toilet?) , at the front of the aircraft were out of service. The guy college student next to me said, "Man, I wish I'd paid attention to the last person who came out of there!" to which I replied, "Ha ha! Me too! I saw a lot of people with Nathan's hot dog boxes while we were waiting to board..." which sufficiently grossed us out and made us laugh.

A bit later they brought out the drink cart after announcing that they were really serious, the lavatories up front are out of service. The guy in the row next to mine (I tried to make a chart, but it didn't work very well, so use your imagination), marked with a C ordered coffee. I am (quite creatively) marked with an S.

X X B     X X X

X X C     F S X

Everything was going fine, when all of a sudden, the normal sized guy in seat B who was just sitting minding his own business's chair back broke(B for broken)! It fell backwards and threw coffee all over the guy in C, who got really mad and made the best noise ever! It kind of sounded like a walrus and went Ungh! This put my row in quiet hysterics (we were trying to be quiet because coffee guy looked like he wanted to kill everyone around him). The guy with the broken seat and his girlfriend thought it was hilarious and the guy next to seat C was also choking back laughter even though he too had been sprayed. The girl in seat F said to me "I'm getting a little worried about Southwest," (F for funny), thus naming this post. Every few minutes my row would be able to lock it down but then one of us would laugh again, which would cause the other two to crack up. Girl F happened to be watching the Wedding Crashers, so I pretended to watch with her which then justified the laughter, even though the movie had been on pause since the seat broke. Since it was a packed holiday flight, seat B had to remain in the broken seat until we landed. I'm sure his landing position was not FCC approved because believe me, his seat back was NOT in the upright position when we landed.

The rest of the flight went on without a hitch. We were only about 45 minutes late and my luggage came through unscathed. I had a wonderful time at home, although next time I visit, I might consider driving...